A Start with Hope of a Finish

Much like walking up to a random stranger in a bar and starting a conversation, here is the first entry in my second blog venture.  Is it going to be clunky and somewhat odd, sure, but hopefully by the time we bypass the weather and "what do you do for a living?" you will be going home with me for a nightcap.

A little (very little) about myself.  I'm 45, I work for the airlines and love to cook.  The airline gig has been going for about 5 years now, and the cooking gig has been going for at least 10.  It may be longer for the cooking, but I'm not counting the lemon pepper chicken I used to whip up for my dates.   Basic pan frying with cookery that would do the college kid proud, a nuking veggie with a sauce, seasoned with the finest salt and pepper from paper cartons labeled as such.  I have progressed to the next level, I keep those condiments in little ramekins, so that I can imitate the cable chefs with a dash of this and a dash of that.  Digression is something readers of this blog are going to have to get cozy with.

The moment cooking invaded my mental GPS was actually "30-Minute Meals" with Racheal Ray.  I'm flipping through the channels, fast food grease bag in lap, and stop at this show that promises in just 30 minutes, that I'm going to make a masterpiece of taste and presentation.  My inherent laziness tingled, and just like that, a hobby was born.  Cooking shows like "Top Chef" replaced inane sitcoms, "Emeril Live" booted my ninth viewing of "SportsCenter" for the day and "Hell's Kitchen" . . . well, was turned off.  I just don't think cooking and screaming obscenities is a good mix, even with a British accent.

As far as the airline thing is concerned, its a job, and it pays for this hobby (hence the AIR in the title, am I clever, not even remotely). This profession is teemed with stress and "rhino on the back" responsibility.  After a 50-hour work week, my mind has checked out and convinced my body to come along for the ride.  The light at the end of the tunnel is the next recipe, protein, vegetable or sauce that can be created with a trusty bottle of vino at my side.  The chopping is fine, the music is playing, the measurements are exact and this is how I spend my time off.  

A question any blogger may ask themselves is "What do I hope to accomplish?"  Is this for money?  Do I hope to get a cookbook deal from this? Nope, just sanity.  I would not turn down the untold fortunes of cookbooks, guest spots on "The Today Show," my own kitchen with a camera above my head monitoring my every puree, but really, right now, this is about my piece of mind.  You, my friends, and hopefully new ones, will just enjoy a good read, with a recipe you might actually decide to use.  There will be airline stories, there will be travel stories, but most importantly, there will be food, wine, beer, good times.  This is the start of something good with a hope of a finish.

With all of this nonsense in mind, lets turn the burner on.  In this case, the slow cooker. . .

Schweppes Roast Beef with Sautéed Power Veggie

Yes, its ginger ale.  I'm cooking beef, slowly in ginger ale.  Why choose this recipe for my inaugural post, because I made it today.  That's how fresh I am.    

The Beef:

A 3 lb piece of beef - I have chosen a chuck roast

0.5 cups of flour

1 onion soup mix packet

1 dry gravy packet

2 cups Schweppes (why not Canada Dry? Don't like the word dry in my beef recipe)

1 small onion, sliced really thin

The Power Veggie:

A pound of Kale

3 tbs of olive oil

2 cloves garlic, chop em up fine

0.5 cup of beef stock

Salt and Pepper

2 tbs of red wine vinegar

Cut the onion thinly, make sure you cry while you do it, and place those tear-inducing chunks into your Pam-sprayed slow cooker.  Break out your meat (sorry) and cover it with flour (different strokes for different folks) and place that on top of the onions in the pot of love.  In a bowl, mix the onion soup packet, the gravy packet, the preferred ale of redheads and mix completely until the chunks give up and become a part of the sauce society. Pour that science experiment on top of the freshly powdered beef, close the lid, put on low for 8-10 hours. You know how a watched pot of water never boils, well, a watched slow cooker is just insanity.

Intermission: Listening to S.O.B. by Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats with a glass of vodka and aroma is doing that permeating thing.

At about hour 8 you are ready to consider doing something with the power veggie - Kale.  Is Kale a power veggie? Well, if Popeye ate Kale instead of spinach, Bluto would not be fucking with his woman anymore.  I prefer to get fresh kale, the bagged stuff is cleaned by someone other than me, and I would rather not have sand be a main ingredient in my food.  See those big stems, really pretty green color, get them out of there.  They are tough and not especially tasty.  Stick with the leaves and chop them up - not into tiny bits you psycho, like, you know, course.  Take a saucepan, big enough to handle a wad of vegetable and heat the oil in it on medium high.  Throw the garlic in and cook until they are soft, but not discolored.  Take the heat to high and fire the stock and kale in there, toss, cover, cook for 5 minutes. Take the cover off and stir until all the liquid has disappeared.  Throw some salt, pepper and red wine vinegar in there, mix.

The beef should be falling apart from all the emotional and physical stress.  I would slather a wad of mashed potatoes under this treasure or egg noodles will do.  I'm not going to make homemade mashed potatoes, that is time-consuming, and the pre-packaged ones will work just fine. You have to pick and choose your cooking battles, remember, the star of this show is the meat. You can spend valuable time with potatoes, or concentrate your efforts on the $15 protein, beef should win every time.  

To wrap this up in a fine little blood-red beef bow - serve with a red wine, and stare at your roommates while they eat.  Praise is motivation, and if you stare at them eagerly, they have to say something nice.